I'm sick of being sick

Alright, Cold #2 officially still under way, and it's now been a week and a half. One week prior to this cold, I had just gotten over Cold #1. But who knows, this could all be combined with wicked allergies, though it seems that antihistamines aren't really helping. Whatever ... All I know is that I've suffered long enough and am tired of congested sinuses, sneezing, headache, and fatigue. At least the sore throat has finally abaited.

So, not much training going on these days ... a few short easy runs (nothing hard, don't want to induce my asthma), some short bike rides, and finally today, a short swim, more to say I got into the pool than to actually swim.

What I have been doing though is some socializing!

The past weekend saw a whole bunch of my friends participate in the Montreal Marathon weekend. Most of my runner friends opted to do the Half, but I did have one crazy fellow Ironman, Thor, come in from Boston to run his 50th marathon with a time of 3:07. According to him, he "crashed and burned", compared to his usual marathon experience. I can only dream of crashing and burning the way he did ;-)

Okay, now for some pics ... Here are some of my running friends from Montreal enjoying some brew and grub at an Irish pub Friday night. I made sure to organise this two days pre-race to not interfere with the Saturday "routine" or carb supper for those racing.

And here's a pic of the race ... the time you see is for the Half Marathoners at the 16 km split.

And here I am, meeting up with some virtual friends from my Kickrunners Multi-sport forum, Thor and his lovely wife, H.

I realised one thing about spectating ... I suck at it and seemed to miss all my running friends pass me by as I waited at the finish. Heck, I'm the one usually racing! By chance though, I did run into two friends at the end, and I was lucky to see Thor come through the finish.

How do spectators pick out ONE RUNNER out of a crowd of thousands, especially if they don't know what he/she is wearing? I have a new-found admiration for all my friends who have waited for me and cheered me on during my races.

The Universe sent me a sign today ...

In my head, I'd decided to do the Ottawa Half Ironman this Saturday, and my tri friends had agreed that I should go for the longer distance over the sprint, but then I got sick last week and couldn't train.

I'm feeling better now after this short but intense virus and actually had a good training today (50k cycle). So, missing one intense training weekend out of an available five seriously nicks "cramming" for a Half Iron, so I decided to do the Sprint Tri instead to play it safe, 'cause you and I both know I haven't done the miles for a Half, and I still have a hip injury.

So, I go online and lo and behold, online registration closed before the announced midnight cut-off today. And I'm not willing to pay more money to sign up on-site, especially at 6am on race day (since I'm working Friday and can't do early pick-up, Ottawa is two hours away!)

Guess it's an omen, a sign from the Universe ...

Another online registration opened weeks earlier than was supposed to (it was announced for mid-Sept) and a tri friend tipped me off. My heart jumped when she popped up suddenly in my Facebook chat window with the online registration link and I knew right away what I really wanted.

I signed up, no ifs or buts.

My credit card ain't too happy and I don't have the money to go yet (flight, hotel and shipping my bike, OUCH!) but I believe the money will come ... because my heart is already in this race ... and I'm going to be racing for my mom to raise money for cancer.

Ironman Canada 2010, here I come!

Interesting how I couldn't commit to signing up for the Ottawa triathlon ... I waffled and agonized and couldn't decide ... seemed that training, work, injury and sickness intended to get in the way ... somehow the Universe knew I'd need this race entry money for another bigger, more important race.

I've got a year to train ... a year to become disciplined ... a year to get ready ... and a year to find the money. But I have full trust in the Universe and it will provide :-)

On another positive note, the premiere of the short film "The Cat in the Pan" at the Montreal World Film Festival went well ... Very cool film, very cool cast and crew ;-)

From left to right:

Me (role: Goth Girl)
Bruno Philip, C.S.C. (Director of Photography)
Cindy Landerman (actor, wife to David Schapp and a beautiful mother-to-be!)
David Schapp (role: Monitor)
Anne Kmetyko (Director)

So life is wonderful and I can't wait for more amazing things to happen! Thank you, Universe!

[Edited to add: My friends with whom I was supposed to stay had their baby arrive 5 1/2 weeks early ... it would have been pandemonium at their house!]

Montreal World Film Festival: International premiere of "The Cat in the Pan"

Yesterday, I was still sitting on the fence about which race to do in Ottawa on Sept. 5. Today, I feel like I have fallen off, but not in a good way.

I'm fighting some kind of weird virus that makes it difficult to concentrate and keep my head up because I feel achey and woozy. My head and ears feel warm, my chest is a bit congested and my throat is swollen and I should really be lying in bed right now. But I am obstinate and am trying to be productive, well, at least semi-productive.

And I would love to go out and train but yesterday's short ride and run was difficult. I thought all the sneezing was due to severe allergies but I now realise that this nasty virus that I've caught was also contributing. Anyway, I would probably fall off from being too dizzy ... Sigh, forced rest day for me today.

So, being sick and not being able to train hard this last precious weekend before the race pretty well nullifies any chance of doing the Half Ironman. In addition, I've been called to shoot on a television series one day before the race, meaning that I'll miss the race packet pick-up Friday and would have to do it first thing Saturday morning, as well as familarise myself with the race course ... I could always fall back on racing the Sprint Tri ... hmmm ... but that starts at 8am and Ottawa is a two hour drive from Montreal.

Alright ... let's think about something else, something positive ...


My short film in which I play the Goth Girl, "The Cat in the Pan" directed by Anne Kmetyko, is making its international debut Sunday, August 30 at the Montreal World Film Festival. It'll be opening for another Canadian film called "The Poet".

Here are some pics from the shoot, taken by the set photographer, Aurelien Pallier-Colinot ...

Go big or go home!

August 22 has come and gone and I am not yet registered. In fact, today is the last day I can register online at the regular fee for the triathlon races in Ottawa Sept. 5.

I'm still sitting on the fence and can't figure out for which race to register ... the Sprint or the Half Iron. Frankly, I'm not ready for either.

Today I ran 15k, hip and bunions hurt, but I pushed through and finished strong. I actually visualised running the entire half marathon distance (even though I ran 6k short) and instead of running it at a regular LSD (long slow distance) pace, I picked up the pace and let it hurt more than I wanted, but not enough to cause injury. I needed to test my physical and mental toughness of what it might feel like after swimming 2k, biking 90k then running 21k.

Let's check out the pros and cons of each distance:

SPRINT TRIATHLON

Pros
- Costs less than the Half Ironman.
- Takes less time than the Half Ironman.
- Found out today that the bike is actually 30k and not 20k, which is more common ... so I'm liking the longer distance :-)
- Though my training has been inconsistent, I've for sure done enough mileage.
- This will make me step out of my comfort zone of endurance racing and maybe I'll discover that I'm not as slow as I think.
- The pressure to be speedy freaks me out!
- The pace required is never described by the word "comfy".

Cons
- I have to push myself at my maximum throughout the entire race.
- I haven't done any speedwork. I suck at transitioning and this part is super important in a short race.
- I have to push so hard that I will actually be on the verge of being out of breath all the time and my muscles will BURN BURN BURN. I will HURT HURT HURT!

HALF IRONMAN

Pros
- I'm very comfortable with endurance races, I know I can finish. A lot of the endurance race is in the head.
- I was just as badly prepared for Ironman Louisville last year and I managed to finish without crawling over the finish line.
- The HIM is a less popular distance than a Sprint, so knowing that, I can feed my Endurance Triathlete Ego ;-) Yes, I like owning a HIM finisher's medal more than a Sprint (but best is the IM medal!)
- I like when I can get into a groove and relax into a consistent pace, which is almost zen-like, 'cept when it hurts ... but then it all becomes surreal when it REALLY HURTS, though still painful.
- There is less pressure to be Speedy-Gonzales during transitions. I'll be racing for seven hours so what difference will a few minutes make? I ain't gonna be winning ...

Cons
- More expensive than the Sprint tri.
- I haven't done enough mileage or consistent training to do this distance!
- I'm sure I am underestimating how much I am going to SUFFER! I might be limp-running-walking during the last half of the run leg.
- I haven't done any open water swimming yet this year ... will I remember how?

Oh, oh, oh! Decisions, decisions, decisions ...

But as my friend TP said, "Go big or go home!" I feel like I've been challenged. It's true, I've never been one to do things in a "small way" ... Hmmm ... I'm gonna sit on the fence just a bit longer ... Maybe I'll just have to see how training goes this week and pay the late online fee.

This is a hard choice, I'm an endurance athlete, but maybe just once, I should play it safe?

Training discipline ... what dat?

I've been trying to be better disciplined at training recently but last week threw me for a loop. I've never been one for keeping a routine or a schedule and this was made worse when my work schedule included inconsistent hours, being outside for long periods in the muggy Montreal heat wave, and/or standing around all day being "on" and always ready.

So, frankly, I didn't get in the training I wanted to last week. My feet hurt or I was simply too pooped from the extreme heat. Besides, waking up with swollen feet and legs every morning didn't help!

So my dilemma ... Aug. 22 is fast approaching and I still don't know for which race to register ... Either one will hurt A LOT, just differently. There is so much more pressure with a Sprint Tri than a Half Ironman because of the speed factor but on the other hand, I haven't come close to doing enough miles to cover the HIM distance! Mind you, I hadn't covered enough miles to complete IMKY (Ironman Kentucky) either ... but I did.

OH!

Choices, choices ... I think I could push myself to finish a HIM, but at what cost to my body? Or I could take this almost three weeks left of training to fine tune myself to go just a wee bit faster/harder. Logic says do the Sprint ... my heart says do the Half.

Your comments and suggestions are welcome. Thanks :-)

I remember when ...

The other day, I ran 7.7 km, the most I've run since resuming my running only a few weeks ago. I'd been off running since late April, almost three months, because of a sore hip. I felt slow and heavy ...

Where did my fitness go?

I've been swimming and cycling and trying to keep some sort of fitness base but I realise that I'm in my best shape, emotionally and physically, when I can RUN! This is likely due to the fact that I don't push myself the same way with swimming or cycling as I do with endurance running, where I don't have a choice. I can't take a little break by gliding or letting the wheels spin ...

I miss my marathoning training days of 5-6 days of running, when I used to be thinner, and when I used to fit all my sexy tailored clothes ... Waah!

Hip was a little sore, more so after the run than during, but what worries me is the *twinge* in my left knee, which hurt during my 30k ride the day afterwards too ... I think I'm compensating for my hip. Sigh.

Half Ironman Triathlon ... we'll see if this race even happens. I'll give myself until August 22 to register ... Otherwise, it'll just be a Sprint.

Ingrid, I love you ...

After 11 months of hanging in my room, I finally took down Ingrid, my Cervelo P2C tri-bike, from my ceiling and prepped her for a ride, in fact, the first one since Ironman Louisville.

So good to be AERO again!

Rode 76 km to Charlemagne in the heat and humidity. I'd hesitated all season to ride her. Since I have a hip injury and can't run much, I haven't committed to any races ... no marathons, no triathlons. And when I'm not committed to a race, I tend to ... um ... be even more undisciplined an athlete than my usual undisciplined athlete self. Why push myself if there is no goal?

But recently, Dirk, my trainer friend from Miami called me up ...

Dirk: You mentioned a race in Ottawa in September, an Ironman?

Bonnie: Yeah, there's one on September 5. It's not a sanctioned IM, but an Irondistance so should cost less.

Dirk: I want to come visit you and do this race.

Bonnie: Well, that's fantastic, but if you're gonna race, I'll have to race too!

So there you have it, hip injury or not, I will sign up for one of the events. I've been off running for almost three months and have recently started running again, just short distances, so if I build carefully, I'll be able to manage something (I hope!)

I've got five weeks to train and two races to choose from ... Sprint or Half Iron ... and I think you know which one I'd like to do! No way I could train for an Irondistance in this short time, but since I know I'm one stubborn lady, I think I'll go for the ... Half Iron! Gotta bump up my training enough to just complete now ...

So, that's why Ingrid came down from my ceiling yesterday ... I've been riding my Guru road bike, Kate, in town since it takes a good 20km of cycling before one can get past the cars and the slower cyclists and I haven't really been doing much distance, usually only short rides of 25-50km. Actually, even beyond 20k, the road just sucks! Montreal is notorious for potholes, cracks and bumps.

But when I finally got onto smoother roads and out far enough to not have to worry so much about traffic lights, too many cars, other cyclists ... down into aero I stayed.

Ingrid, you are such a sweet ride ... There is no sexier feeling than being geared up in spandex, goggles and helmet and riding 30km/hr+ in aero position on an amazingly engineered bike!

Wear your bike helmet!

Recently, a friend's daughter had a bad spill on her bike. She wasn't wearing a helmet. She suffered facial and cranial fractures as well as bleeding in her brain and was placed in ICU. She is now awake and recovering and will be released in a few days.

All I can say is:

1) Wearing a bike helmet can save your life or from severe injury!

2) Thank God she is alright!

Too often, when I am out cycling on Montreal's glorious bike path network, I remark on all the cyclists either wearing their helmet incorrectly or not at all.

Too many loose straps or helmets not covering the forehead. I especially HATE seeing children with incorrectly worn or loose-fitting helmets or missing them altogether. And how many parents do NOT lead by example ... I see their children wearing helmets, but not themselves!

Pray tell me, dear parents who refuse to wear bike helmets, who will take care of your precious children as you lie with brain damage in the hospital emergency room or ICU?

Yes, this is my major pet peeve about cycling ... incorrect or lack of bike helmet usage. Wearing a bike helmet properly can save your life ... and remember you only have ONE life.

Here's a helpful video on how to fit your helmet ...



On a more personal note, my leg is healing, and after a day off training, my short 36 km bike ride (with helmet!) yesterday helped to loosen my tight calf muscle. It's still sore to the touch but I managed a short 25 min. jog around my neighbourhood today and my leg was alright. Woohoo!

OUCH !!!

I got kicked in the pool today ... UBER-HARD!

You'd think that if you're doing a furious breast-stroke, you'd be careful about your wide kick. Nope. Some man sharing my lane swimming in the opposite direction to me was totally oblivious to my passing him. I am sure he could see me as I approached and it would have been considerate to take care not to kick me. I, on the other hand, was watching the bottom of the pool when suddenly ...

OOF! P-A-I-N!!!

Geez, even getting hoofed in the face during Ironman was less painful. His kick had me stopped in the middle of the lane, standing in the pool, clutching my calf. I swam precariously to the lane end and waited for a reaction from the guilty party while I massaged my leg and grimaced in pain. The oblivious breast-stroker swam back to the end of the lane where I was standing, touched the wall, turned around and continued on.

You'd think I'd get at least a "Sorry, are you alright?" Nope. What ever happened to good old courtesy? If I had been in less pain, I could have put some effort into chasing him down to tell him to be more careful about other swimmers in the pool ...

Now I've got a huge muscle cramp in my calf that won't go away, making it difficult to walk ... boo hoo hoo!

On a more positive note ... though my hip's not yet healed, I've managed three short 4.5-5k runs in the past 10 days. A wee bit sore afterwards but manageable and no longer the lingering sometimes sharp pain I used to get after a run. I think I'm finally on the mend ...

This actually makes me think I might still be able to get in a race or two this season. Ideally, I'd do a Half Ironman come early September (idea of an IM is completely out) and a marathon in October but I might be getting ahead of myself. It's hard to think that the only race I might end up doing is a Sprint Triathlon ... not that I have anything against that distance, but with my bum hip, I'm sure I won't be able to do any effective speed training without reinjuring myself. Besides, I totally suck at transitions ... Sigh.

Let's see how training goes in the next little while ... cross your fingers for me!

The Voice Within

I got a chance to do some cycling in "lands unknown", the pretty countryside and waterfront of Barrie and Oro, Ontario. I would have enjoyed the ride more if I had known what to expect (distance and elevation) and wasn't pressed for time.

SS: I have three hours to ride. Is this going to be an easy ride? How hilly is it?

CK: Yeah, it'll be an easy ride ... not hilly, pretty flat.

Yeah, right.

[Start of Rant]

It's rare when I get pissed off, but without giving you details, let me say that after a very hilly 85k ride that of course went way past three hours in length and got us back WAY later than intended, it was not fun to deal with the consequences. I'd have turned back sooner but I was dependent on my cycling buddy for my bearings as we were out in "no man's land". As well, he was already pissed off at my cycling inabilities/limitations and kept dropping me.

So what were the consequences?

1) I had trouble finding flowers for my mom since the florist shops were closed when we got back and I got cleaned up.
2) I arrived much later at my mom's gravesite than planned, after the administration office was closed, meaning there was no one to help me find her grave.
3) I had to cancel a cup of tea with a friend, and couldn't check out the reno job he was doing on his new house.
4) My dinner plans with other friends got totally screwed up. We were supposed to go out together for supper but they were too hungry and tired to wait anymore.

Yeah, I was pretty pissed. I have nothing against hard rides, but that particular day, I didn't need to do that distance and I didn't need to do all those hills (I'm not even trained enough for this kind of ride), but most importantly, I didn't have the TIME!

Of course though, this ride was all about HIM.

[End of Rant]

Whew, I feel better now ... thanks for listening.

It took an hour to drive to my mom's cemetary and as I drove through the gates onto the paths that separated the different "gardens", I started crying. This was my first visit back to my mother's final resting place after her funeral and I wasn't sure I would find her grave as the headstone had not been erected right away.

Interestingly, the following song started playing in my car as tears fell onto my face and I felt my mother speaking to me through it ...

"The Voice Within"
by Christina Aguilera

Young girl don’t cry
I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it’s alright
Your tears will dry, you’ll soon be free to fly

When you’re safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing’s harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there’s no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you’ll find the strength that will guide your way
You’ll learn to begin to trust the voice within

Young girl don’t hide
You’ll never change if you just run away
Young girl just hold tight
Soon you’re gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It’s so hard to stand your ground when you’re so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you’re learning
You’ll find all you’ll ever need to know
(be strong)
You’ll break it
(hold on)
You’ll make it
Just don’t forsake it because
No one can tell you what you can’t do
No one can stop you, you know that I’m talking to you

Young girl don’t cry I’ll be right here when your world starts
to fall

So not knowing exactly where my mother lay, and after walking around for a while, I placed the pot of pink petunias where my heart told me to, a still open grave with an unnamed headstone, and then told my mom I loved her.

I called the cemetary adminstration office on Monday once back in Montreal and they were able to confirm that I had placed the flowers correctly.

My mom led me to her and sent me her love through a beautiful song ... Oh God, I miss her so much ...